From Sound to Silence…
A long time back, I read something scribbled on the margin of a book, “True love is not about how many lively talks you can have, it is about the number of comfortable silences you can survive.” I read it over and over again, and yet, it did not make any sense to me. I thought silence was overrated. I couldn’t have been further from the truth.
Back in those days, I had a habit of overthinking and I was foolish enough to think that it was cool. I would play different scenarios in my head, and the loop went on, often with some special sound effects. Sometimes I would push myself to the brink of insomnia, and all this while, my thoughts would oscillate between the past and future. If my mind were allowed to participate in the olympics, there was a fair chance for it to beat Bolt’s record. So, even when I used to be alone, I never had a single moment of silence in my life.
Isn’t it true that one must know the problem before finding its solution? I consider myself lucky to have found the fix even before I became aware of my struggles. I experienced the magic of Sudarshan Kriya (SKY)* and meditation when I was 18 and until then, I continued to live in oblivion, carrying around my rotting mind.
For years, I have tried to put my experience in words; the harder I have tried, the more I have struggled. Of course, I could explain what my body felt — a surge of emotions, sensations, stiffness — but it is difficult to put in words what I experienced on the inside. That day, I moved from sound to silence — I experienced and felt the power of silence deep within me.
I know it would not make any sense to you at the moment. It’s like describing how scrumptious the Thai Curry was that I had for dinner. I could explain the texture of the curry, the crunch of the vegetables, the aroma and even the lingering aftertaste of the spices but could you ever know exactly how it tasted without tasting it yourself? Absolutely not! The same is true for SKY and meditation. Till the time you don’t experience that silence of mind, you would— just like the older version of me—keep believing that silence is overrated.
Years have passed since my first SKY experience and I continue to be amazed by it every single day. During this time, not only have I learnt how to manage my emotions (especially my anger) better but I have also learnt how to rejoice more when I am happy. I have learnt how to appreciate the little joys in life and how to persevere a bit more when things get difficult. I believe that I have learnt to let go in the truest sense. And, I have also learnt the meaning of those words I quoted in the very beginning. I would share it with you but alas, the comfort of silence cannot be explained, it can only be experienced.
